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Saint John’s only had a service every other week – something like that. I don’t know. I was vaguely aware that rural churches often had to share their ministers.After a bacon-and-egg breakfast, we set off early to walk to the church and, as it turned out, got there just as someone was unlocking the doors. A blushing enquiry from Dora led to her being taken to a small room at the side by a motherly type, while I wandered around. The building was not highly esteemed by Pevsner, but I thought it attractive enough, in a Victorian, neo-Gothic sort of way, and the setting is, of course, lovely.I’m not a connoisseur of church services – I’m too uncomfortable with many of the ingrained attitudes and beliefs of mainstream Christianity to be a regular – but I’m familiar enough to know it was a middle-of-the-road Anglican Communion service, which took the usual hour. The motherly type wasn’t the Vicar, though she did read a lesson; the service was led by a younger woman who, even in the robes. "You sound like a guy. Chicks?" Why not?" Kira said, mock-leering at me. "I like the same thing." She cupped one of my breasts, and gently squeezed it, bringing her lips to mine and kissing me for a few moments. She pulled her face away from mine, and said, "Anyway, I think a beauty contest is just what you need, sexist or not." I don't think I'm ready for that," I said. "I mean a campus-wide contest, that's ridiculous, I couldn't compete with most of the girls here!" Well, I disagree with you, I think you could, but that's the beauty of it. Er, sorry. I mean that's what makes it perfect. It's a dorm-wide competition. Each dorm elects their own male and/or female Santa's Helpers. You can compete for the Female Santa's Helper from 'The Madhouse!' Besides the great honor of representing Madison Hall, there are many awesome gifts for the winners, I think last year Ellen Johnson from the 3rd floor, and an Abyssinian named 'Clyde' won a big bag of Cheetos and a $10 Starbucks gift card. I.
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